Blip or Bad Behaviour?
Blip or Breakdown?
Most managers, sooner or later, face the unnerving situation of an employee losing their cool. It could be a snide remark, a door slammed or, in the most extreme cases, an insult hurled in the heat of the moment.
The question is: how should you respond?
A recent employment tribunal offers a timely reminder. In this case, office manager Kerrie Herbert was dismissed immediately after a heated row in which she insulted her boss. Her employer judged it gross misconduct. The tribunal did not. Because her contract required warnings before dismissal for insulting language, and because it was an isolated outburst, she was awarded nearly £30,000 for unfair dismissal.
The lesson isn’t that rudeness should be tolerated, but that context matters. A single flash of temper is not necessarily the same as ongoing disruptive behaviour. For new managers in particular, this is where judgement, emotional intelligence, and process all converge.
In a world of advancing AI, humans still rule
And humans are exactly that: humans. The workplace is not a vacuum. Employees bring with them pressures from home, financial strains, personal worries, the stresses of competing deadlines…the list could be long. Most of the time, these remain tucked away.
Occasionally, however, they surface, in words or actions that may feel disproportionate in the moment.
It’s tempting, especially for inexperienced managers, to treat such an outburst as a betrayal of trust or respect. But often, it’s simply evidence that an employee has reached breaking point. That doesn’t make it acceptable, but it does make it understandable. And responding appropriately can turn a flashpoint into a moment of connection rather than rupture.
Why patterns matter
The key distinction managers must make is whether an incident is a ‘blip’ or a symptom of a deeper behavioural pattern. That distinction isn’t always obvious, but there are markers you can look for.
Track record: If someone with ten years of service, no history of conflict, and consistently strong performance has one bad day, it’s most likely a blip.
Peer feedback: Are other team members reporting tension or frequent sharp comments from this team member? If others see a pattern, take note.
Escalation: A single instance is one thing; repeated outbursts that grow in intensity suggest something systemic.
General engagement: A dip in enthusiasm, professionalism, or co-operation alongside an outburst may hint at a deeper issue.
Patterns, not individual moments, should drive your assessment of seriousness.
Kerrie Herbert’s tribunal makes one thing clear: even if an employee’s behaviour feels unacceptable, you must still follow due process. Skipping disciplinary steps may feel like decisive leadership, but it’s a costly shortcut. Employment law in the UK places a strong emphasis on fairness, consistency, and written procedure.
This means investigating the incident before concluding misconduct; documenting what happened and who witnessed it; applying the same standards you would to any other employee and using warnings and staged escalation unless their behaviour is extreme.
Failing to follow these steps can turn a difficult HR situation into a financial and reputational blow.
The manager’s role in the moment
What you do in the immediate aftermath of an outburst matters hugely—for the employee, for the rest of the team, and for your own credibility as a leader.
- Stay calm: If you mirror the outburst with your own frustration, you lose authority and escalate the problem.
- Separate the behaviour from the person: Acknowledge the words or actions were inappropriate without labelling the employee as a problem.
- Don’t react impulsively: Avoid ultimatums or snap dismissals. Instead, signal that the matter will be addressed properly after emotions have cooled.
- Hold a private conversation: A follow-up meeting once the employee is calm should invite perspective and constructive dialogue.
Having the difficult conversation
Of course, a manager must address what happened when it’s appropriate to do so. Many avoid this step, hoping the incident will fade, but silence breeds uncertainty. The conversation doesn’t need to be confrontational. In fact, it should be supportive, here are some key principles you could use to guide the conversation:
Describe, don’t accuse: ‘In yesterday’s meeting, you raised your voice and used language that wasn’t appropriate’ is more constructive than ‘You were aggressive’.
Ask, don’t assume: ‘What led to that reaction?’ is an open question that may uncover stressors you can help with.
Set expectations: Make it clear what behaviour is unacceptable and what acceptable behaviour looks like. This lets the individual know that you want them to succeed.
Offer support: Coaching, workload adjustments, or simply a listening ear may prevent recurrence.
Handled well, such a conversation can strengthen a working relationship.
Where the behaviour is genuinely out of character, a supportive approach is usually more effective than rushing into discipline. That doesn’t mean condoning the behaviour but recognising it in context. Employees who feel their manager ‘saw the whole picture’ rather than rushing to punish are more likely to stay engaged and loyal.
In contrast, where an outburst forms part of a pattern—especially if coupled with other problematic behaviours—formal escalation is appropriate. What matters is proportionality: i.e. not overreacting to a one-off blip nor downplaying repeated disruption.
The ripple effect
An often-overlooked aspect of an outburst by a team member is the impact on their colleagues. Even if they weren’t the direct target, others in the room may feel unsettled or unsafe. A manager’s silence can be seen as tacit approval or weak management.
That’s why it’s essential to acknowledge the incident with the team—without breaching confidentiality. A simple statement such as, ‘I know yesterday’s meeting was tense. I’ve addressed it directly and we’re working through it,’ reassures others that you are leading, not avoiding.
Soft skills may be hard skills
For many new managers, technical expertise got them promoted. But managing behaviour requires a different toolkit: empathy, listening, and emotional intelligence. These are not ‘nice-to-haves’; they’re core leadership skills. Research consistently shows that teams led by managers with strong interpersonal skills are more engaged, more productive, and less likely to fall apart.
Yet soft skills are often assumed rather than trained. New leaders may be left to figure things out, learning only through their mistakes. That’s why structured support—through coaching, mentoring, or behavioural tools—makes such a difference. Managers benefit from frameworks that help them interpret behaviour objectively rather than emotionally.
This is where tools grounded in behavioural and neuro science can transform leadership. They give managers deeper insight into communication styles, stress responses, and team dynamics. Used well, they highlight when behaviour is out of character; identify emerging patterns before they escalate; help managers tailor their approach to individual team members and foster more cohesive, collaborative teams.
Turning outbursts into opportunities
An employee’s outburst will never be pleasant to manage, but it can be a valuable moment. It forces managers to confront not just the behaviour but the conditions around it: workload pressures, team culture, communication breakdowns. If approached with fairness and empathy, it can strengthen trust and improve team resilience.
See them as a chance to learn more about your people, your culture, and your brand of leadership. With the right tools and approach, one bad day needn’t derail a career or a team.
Jigsaw Discovery helps managers recognise the human side of behaviour, develop empathy, and turn flashpoints into opportunities for stronger relationships.
Learn more about how the Jigsaw Discovery Tool supports behavioural understanding and leadership development.
For more information, call us on 07801 056 284.
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